This whole episode is so dark. Prepare for many dark pictures.

This whole episode is so dark. Prepare for many dark pictures.

I want to start out by saying that this was the very first episode of Buffy I ever watched. I think I watched it when it originally aired, which would have made me 13 years old (a couple months away from 14). I was babysitting at night and the kids were asleep and the people didn’t have blinds or curtains on their windows, so I was very aware that people could see in but I couldn’t see out. I was extremely creeped out.

I have to say that I think this is one of the episodes that holds up the absolute best and hits practically every emotional beat dead on. RIP John Ritter, you were pretty amazing. ❤

They look sad here but I swear it's a happy conversation.

They look sad here but I swear it’s a happy conversation.

So, jumping right into it, Buffy and the Scoobies are walking home and Xander and Willow are having a passionate debate about the Captain and Tenille. I had no idea who these people were when I was 13 years old and honest, here I am at 31 and I still only know the names so I have no stake in their fight. I’m sure it’s funnier if you know who they’re talking about.

There’s a mandatory line dropped to explain how the evil assassins are totally no longer a problem for… reasons and letting us know that Angel is healing up in his vampiric way and Buffy is taking care of him. The ways that vampires heal or get wounded is baffling to me but I guess in this case Dru probably took some of his life force or something? So probably he is weak? Who knows. I should probably not overthink it. The point is that it has been nice and quiet with Spike and Dru presumed dead, but obviously not.

But then Buffy’s door is not fully closed and her house is abnormally dark (apparently Buffy’s mom doesn’t believe in lights while on a date) and then she walks into her worst imaginable nightmare — her mother making out with a man.

Um. Oops? You are home early?  Unrelated: I love Joyce's dress.

Um. Oops? You are home early?
Unrelated: I love Joyce’s dress.

I like to imagine that this is actually just Alyson Hannigan making this face about how excited she is to be next to John Ritter.

I like to imagine that this is actually just Alyson Hannigan making this face about how excited she is to be next to John Ritter.

Her mother is clearly very happy and desperately wants her to be happy. Her friends are all immediately hitting it off with him, and this is one of my favorite things in this episode. It feels like a betrayal to her that her friends (particularly Xander but even Willow to some extent) do not see what she sees. He seems like a nice guy, he’s getting Willow a computer thing, he’s making amazing food.

One of the most interesting thing about this to me is that this is actually a theme for Buffy. We’ll see it in several other episodes, most notably the evil roommate episode. No one believes her, she comes across like she’s just being crazy and is unhappy with her situation and is trying to turn it INTO something else because she’s unhappy. But that’s not what it is and the fact that no one

Stop making Buffy make this face!

Stop making Buffy make this face!

takes her seriously, that she’s treated like she’s crazy or being hysterical, these are always dangerous things that end up having truly negative consequences. She can’t necessarily put her finger on what’s wrong but she instinctively knows something is wrong. She keeps trying to put it aside when her friends attempt to (usually lovingly) tell her that maybe she’s just being crazy, but she’s not. She’s right and they should have taken her seriously. I think this is one of the most resonant things in this episode to me and it meant a lot when I was a teenager.

Look how nerdy and perfect he is!

Look how nerdy and perfect he is!

I also cannot even deal with how much John Ritter nails this role. Like everything he does is creepy and yet not SPECIFICALLY creepy (at least in front of other people). You can see how it could totally get a teenager’s hackles up and yet make a mother think she’s being unreasonable. His “little lady” and “sweethearts” are not earned, he doesn’t deserve to use them, and yet you can see how Joyce would think it was sweet. Honestly, I don’t think the drugged food is necessary.

Giles is having a really hard time not occasionally stalking Jenny apparently. Also

It would be hard to deal with this face.

It would be hard to deal with this face.

it has apparently only been 3 weeks since she sort-of half turned into a demon. Time is a strange thing in Buffy. I actually really love this scene of Giles checking to see if she’s okay and Jenny being upset that he’s “making her feel bad that she doesn’t feel better.” That really strikes me as legitimate… although a lot of her emotional beats are a little weird given that we know she’s a Romani spy. Giles sad face is heartbreakingly sad.

I also really like Buffy’s one scene with Angel in this episode. He lets her talk about Ted for quite a while, then gently leads her around to how her mom may need someone in her life. She feels better about it by the end of the conversation, understands what may be up. It actually seems like a very healthy interaction and it’s one of the only normal interactions we ever really see them have. I mean, she’s bandaging him at the time but whatever.

Completely appropriate face.

Completely appropriate face.

The miniature golf thing fascinates me because Ted’s turn into outright abusive is completely frightening. It still creeps me out. I cannot understand why no one else could hear him, but let’s ignore that. I remember particularly when I was young I was baffled as to why she didn’t just tell everyone right then immediately what he had just said! Why did she wait so long, why did she tell her mom like she did? But now it makes a lot more sense to me. She’s already feeling like no one’s taking her seriously, her word against his isn’t really going to stand up very well. Not to mention she’s frightened and caught off guard. She really does love her mom, she doesn’t want to hurt her. Her reluctance to finally tell her ends up coming across like it may not even be true and, although it’s a terrible mistake on Joyce’s part (that I suppose we can chalk up to drugs possibly…?), I could almost understand why she didn’t believe her.

It’s interesting to me to watch now because Buffy has so much “evidence”

She does fantastic awkward teenager body language.

She does fantastic awkward teenager body language.

throughout the episode and yet she doesn’t come forward with it. Why not tell her mom the truth? Tell her she went to his work, tell her that he’s telling everyone he’s taking off for their wedding in two months? Well, her mom just wrote her off. She’s isolated and frightened, she doesn’t feel safe or that she has enough to prove anything. Everything is wrong and off but he would probably have an explanation for it all. It’s a tremendous balance to achieve.

So she goes out looking for more vampires, hoping to find something she can actually fight. When she fails, she comes back and her nightmare is worse. Ted is in her room, in her space. He’s threatening her, he’ll expose her life, he’ll destroy her. When he hits her, Buffy feels vindicated, she can finally hit back. And in that moment, she kills him.

Now before I get into that, I want to mention a few confusing things I have about

He looks weird thinner before he's about to go into the fight but also it doesn't look like a stuntman.

He looks weird thinner before he’s about to go into the fight but also it doesn’t look like a stuntman.

this whole section. My first is how did Ted intend to explain the bruise or broken jaw Buffy would have? She didn’t have one because she’s the Slayer but I assume he didn’t really believe that and would have no way of knowing her capacities anyway. It seems sloppy. My second question is, at this point Joyce does not know that Buffy is the Slayer obviously. So how did she internally explain to herself the fact that her daughter performed martial arts and a tremendous amount of fighting prowess as she knocked Ted down the hall? She didn’t just walk out when he was at the top of the stairs, she saw the whole hall fight and it doesn’t make a lot of sense. I’m just saying.

As it is though, Buffy does not bruise. So it’s a little hard to prove that he brutally hit her in the jaw and it’s a bit of a thing to the cops as to why she might have killed him. Incidentally, I believe we will see this detective in later episodes? I mean, I guess Buffy ultimately gets off of murder charges because the body is missing and Joyce and Buffy both insist they saw him. That seems a little flimsy to me but on the other hand, this is Sunnydale and police work is probably a little different here.

I really should get tired of Buffy's excellent devastated face but I never do.

I really should get tired of Buffy’s excellent devastated face but I never do.

Buffy is devastated by her taking of a human life and what I’m kind-of interested in is the fact that Ted was not human does not actually substantially change that. Like it does change it but it doesn’t change that she has the capacity for that, if that makes sense? I feel like it’s a darkness element that will stay with her and who knows, maybe it’s part of her reaction to when her and Faith accidentally kill a man. I also think it’s interesting that Giles makes a big deal about taking human life even though we absolutely know via end of Season 5 that he will be more than capable and with no regrets that we see. Although obviously that is different in the sense of him believing the world depends on it, it’s still a human life and he takes it pretty mercilessly.

Anyway. Giles is out patrolling when Jenny for some reason chooses THIS time

Jenny looks great with a crossbow, even if she... cannot use it at all.

Jenny looks great with a crossbow, even if she… cannot use it at all.

in the middle of the dark night to come apologize to him and they are attacked by a vampire. She accidentally shoots him with a crossbow, he is very badass and pulls it out of his back to stake the vampire and they go together to the hospital, laughing and being chummy again. I would really like to know what the Sunnydale hospital is like. I hate medical dramas but I would watch ALL of that one.

Buffy sits in her room, devastated in her overalls.

This is not her in her room but I wanted to show the overalls. I love that Buffy's mourning outfit is overalls.

This is not her in her room but I wanted to show the overalls. I love that Buffy’s mourning outfit is overalls.

And then Ted arrives, ready to make things right, while the Scoobies put together the final pieces investigating his house. I mean, you know. The end is what it is. John Ritter has some AMAZING lines. Apparently Ted is a serial killer robot who thinks he’s going after the wife who left him. He just keeps killing them and putting them in his closet, which seems like not a sustainable plan and also why does no one ever look for these women or connect them? Does he get new jobs each time? Does he space them out? Do they all look similar to Joyce? Is there some kind of checklist? Regardless, none of that is really the point. He tries to take Joyce away but Buffy comes to save the day (while Joyce is conveniently unconscious) and uses his beloved cast iron skillet. He tells her he will not stand for this kind of malarkey in his house and she assures him this is not his house before exposing all his robot brains.

Buffy and her mom bond on the porch and talk about renting Thelma and Louise because it apparently has no horror and no men…. even though it definitely has both those things. It doesn’t have romance though, unless you count the two women. That is true.

Buffy wanders through the halls with her friends (including Cordelia, who is now just hanging out with them) explaining the details we haven’t gotten yet. And then, just as she’s about to go into the library she freaks out and runs away… and we see Giles and Jenny kissing. Awwwww…. grown-ups. Enjoy your very short-lived romance. Sigh.




re: What’s My Line? – Part 2

I would like to note that this episode opens with Giles saying “Last week on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” I assume this is because it is a two part episode, so he’s specifically referring to events that just happened and not to things that have happened at some point previously but it stood out to me because I didn’t remember him saying that before. This has no relevance to anything. I just will observe WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE OBSERVING!

Okay, I’m good.

Kendra really does look like a fish here, which is sad. Also Buffy wears this outfit almost the entire episode BUT STILL LOOKS BEAUTIFUL.

Kendra really does look like a fish here, which is sad. Also Buffy wears this outfit almost the entire episode BUT STILL LOOKS BEAUTIFUL.

I agree that Bianca Lawson looks great in her strange pink pants. I also think Buffy looks weirdly beautiful in the opening scene, all rumpled and shit. I am basically just in love with Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy forever, which is sad because it is impossible to be in love with her as basically anything else but I was SO CONNECTED to her in this role.

Anyway. I am glad Joelle pointed out that the terrible accent is not Bianca Lawson’s fault. It was definitely a terrible mistake. I would like to point out another thing about Bianca Lawson, because I love her. This thing is that Bianca Lawson is the world’s oldest teenager. No, really. She has been playing a

It is not impossible to speculate that Bianca Lawson herself might be an immortal being.

It is not impossible to speculate that Bianca Lawson herself might be an immortal being.

teenager for much longer than any human has been a teenager. Based on her imdb you can see that her first real role was in Saved By the Bell: The New Class in 1993, where it is more than safe to say she was playing a teenager (and in fact she would have only been 14 at that point). Her ongoing credits include things like Dawson’s Creek, Sister, Sister and The Secret Life of an American Teenager. As recently as 2012 she was playing a high school girl’s same age girlfriend in Pretty Little Liars and her most recent credits are in Teen Wolf up to this year, where I cannot with certainty say she is playing a teenager but… you know. I hope so. Even if she is not, that is twenty years of playing teenage roles, and for like 3/4 of those she was… not a teenager. I just wanted to point this out. Because it amuses me every time I see her. That said, she is fucking awesome and I love her to pieces and I am always happy to see her.

I would like to note that I love the Pink Ranger insult. I did not watch Power Rangers because I was not allowed to but it SEEMS apt.

Giles is deeply concerned and serious about this.

Giles is deeply concerned and serious about this.

Now the whole thing about the watchers possibly expunging records of previous Slayers who had died is interesting. I had never ever thought that. I guess that’s possible, but I had always assumed that what made Buffy special was that she had someone around to save her, whereas other Slayers work in basically complete isolation. More on that later. Also, it couldn’t be precedented, could it? Because when Kendra dies, then Faith is called up. So if it had happened before then we would have already had more than one Slayer out there. Are we to assume that possibly there are multiple Slayers running around due to something that could have happened a hundred years ago? Like you can’t shut the magic off, can you? Or am I missing something?

It’s interesting that Willy brings Angel to Spike but this may to some extent be a downside of how Buffy doesn’t kill anyone? I mean, that’s probably known. Like she’s not going to kill Willy, no matter what he does to her. He may be slime but he’s human slime. Spike, on the other hand…

This picture does not do justice to how TERRIBLE this CGI was.

This picture does not do justice to how TERRIBLE this CGI was.

Seriously, why does no one worry about Xander and Cordelia? Like I know there’s a lot going on but you sent them to a death house, Giles. Good lord. Whatever. They argue, they kiss. It’s silly. I mean, I do actually like Xander/Cordelia (I’m inexplicably opposed to joined names) but I mostly like them once they’re actually a couple. I do enjoy the crazy music in the background when they kiss. That’s fun.

I totally agree with Joelle. Bug guy is the least creepy villain ever. I could definitely kill him. Also, when he falls down all over

Look at the bugs. Almost nowhere but her cardigan.

Look at the bugs. Almost nowhere but her cardigan.

Cordelia, why doesn’t she take off her cardigan? Like the vast majority of those on are her cardigan (and still are when they run off, incidentally) and it seems like the obvious first thing to do. How do the worms kill people? Do they have teeth? Do they come down your throat? I am super unclear. No way I can imagine seems plausible.

Buffy’s immediate hostility to Kendra is interesting. I mean, I feel like it comes in waves a

Giles is just so oblivious.

Giles is just so oblivious.

little and they just don’t handle it very well. On the one hand, Kendra did attack her out of nowhere and, let’s be fair, is not super nice to Buffy either. Also as much as Buffy wants out of her life, she does have that very ambiguous relationship with it where she is protective of it as well and is really very insecure (I feel like we see that played out much better when Faith comes along). Also, I really do think it sort-of taps her daddy issues when Kendra and Giles start bonding about stuff. Buffy’s daddy issues are rarely touched on directly in the show but they are TREMENDOUS obviously and she definitely has a hard time realizing she is smart and capable, even if not in all the traditional ways. And I think particularly at this point, it’s clear that Daddy Giles is not at all attuned to her feelings and he does not reassure her at all.

This is something I’ve really picked up on a lot more in the rewatch is just how distant Buffy and Giles were initially? Like that is a relationship that really did develop over a lot of time and I appreciate that. Just a sidenote.

Dru torturing Angel is a thing that puzzles me. Like my initial reaction is that she

But Dru is so pretty being crazy. She has such a unique look.

But Dru is so pretty being crazy. She has such a unique look.

must be torturing him with all the details of her dead family because she knows how upset Angel will be about what Angelus did. But she seems genuinely distraught about it. While I suppose this could be put off on her being insane, the truth is that it is one of the many cracks in the Buffy vampire lore. I mean, Dru is a demon. She’s not the woman she was. If he had vamped her before murdering all of her family, she almost certainly would have murdered them herself. So mourning their deaths is unreasonable. I like her monologue because I like all of Dru’s monologues but it doesn’t make a lot of sense.

Does the Slayer handbook every come up again? I feel like when the Watchers came back and got all unhappy with Giles for his training methods, it would have made a lot of sense to be like “and also you totally ignored THIS ENTIRE HANDBOOK YOU HAD” but I don’t think they did.

Pause for a Willow/Oz conversation.
“Your hair… is brown.”
“Yeah, sometimes.”
I know that the cookie conversation is everyone’s favorite and I love that one a lot too but I feel like that interchange is overlooked because it is just an adorable line.

I am probably the only person to ever smile so much about getting shot.

I am probably the only person to ever smile so much about getting shot.

So Buffy shows up to the seminar and the police woman there immediately begins shooting up the school, takes poor Jonathan hostage (hey Jonathan! It’s so good to see you!) and like… yeah. I love that Sunnydale is to the point where a policewoman can shoot up a school and school doesn’t even close down. Or really anything. That is how disengaged this town is. I mean, my initial thought was that probably she was not a real policewoman but how would she have been able to teach the seminar unless she had done at least SOME time on a real force? It’s crazy. This town is just literally crazy. I love it. Also Oz takes what looks like an extremely direct hit in the shoulder but apparently he was only grazed somehow.

I did not notice until Joelle pointed it out that Spike says this is the full moon and the Scoobies say this is the new moon. Come ON, folks. You could have like… checked basic writing.

My explanation for the ritual not killing him growing up was that probably no one had ever bothered trying to stop it before it killed them. Like vampires being evil and all if anyone ever used it, they probably just went all the way. But since they do actually seem to care about each other, I’m not sure that really holds up.

Mostly I just love everyone's expressions here but I think that Kendra's inability to even look a male her age in the eye also does not scream "things are fine."

Mostly I just love everyone’s expressions here but I think that Kendra’s inability to even look a male her age in the eye also does not scream “things are fine.”

I do not agree with Joelle on the whole difference in their upbringings. I feel like the show overall clearly posits the idea that it’s Buffy’s support, her family and friends that give her strength, that make her a DIFFERENT type of Slayer than the others have been able to do. Everything we know about the creation of the entire Slayer line is about subjugation and women being cut off from community and from others to fill a calling created by and overseen by men. The show ends by cutting that out and by empowering those women (theoretically) to have a community of friends and others like them — to have connection to what they’re fighting for. Kendra says not to feel sorry for her and I agree pity is a useless emotion but I don’t think it follows that we’re supposed to be okay with how she’s been raised or what has been done to her. And I think it’s arguable that there’s even more of an othering there because she’s black, and more specifically because she’s the only PoC we’ve seen. Granted, this is in context of the whole show more than what we’ve seen so far but I still think it’s relevant. It’s true that Buffy is more impulsive than Kendra (particularly when it comes to her friends) and that is the downside of her ties to the world but overall, it’s pretty exclusively spelled out in the show that intimately knowing the world she’s fighting for is what allows her to have a longer life than most.

Let’s see, big final battle. Lots of kicking and stuff. They clearly have a bigger

I like Willow's fight face.

I like Willow’s fight face.

budget for this these days. I agree that Patrice does in fact seem human, which I had never thought about before. But she doesn’t fight with anything supernatural at all so… that is a little troubling. Also, Cordelia and Xander kill the bug man with a gallon jug of liquid adhesive. What would you need a gallon of liquid adhesive for? Like, other than this, obviously.

Buffy knocks Spike unconscious and then just…

Hey you two. This is super touching. Maybe it could wait until the building wasn't burning down around you.

Hey you two. This is super touching. Maybe it could wait until the building wasn’t burning down around you.

leave him and Dru there? I know that they should have both caught fire and died. Like that would make sense. But also they are big and evil and maybe while they are unconscious and easy targets, you should just finish the job. Obviously I’m glad you didn’t but it’s not great strategy. Whatever. Buffy is busy having a super poorly timed staring into Angel’s eyes moment while the building burns down around them.

Oz says adorable things to Willow and I mostly focus on how I used to have one of those EXACT NECKLACES and so did absolutely everyone I

I know Joelle used this already but focus on the necklace.

I know Joelle used this already but focus on the necklace.

knew in the 90’s. I haven’t seen one in forever. I think the takeaway from the conversation is that all monkeys are french. I like Willow fine but do not think she has the sweetest smile I’ve ever seen. I am not enamored with Alyson Hannigan, although obviously I think she does well in the role.

Buffy tells Kendra that her shirt totally looked better on Buffy, which is nonsense, because Kendra has amazing boobs and Buffy (who is

They both look not great here but 1) check out the shirt and 2) check out Buffy's pants.

They both look not great here but 1) check out the shirt and 2) check out Buffy’s pants.

absolutely stunning) has… basically no boobs, and that shirt looks much better with a figure. Then they have a touching goodbye scene, during which I am always distracted by the TERRIBLE EDITING. In almost all scenes where we are looking at Buffy and seeing Kendra’s back, her braid is over her shoulder, but then when we switch positions it is behind her back. I know it’s a stupid thing but it’s also so glaringly obvious and it has driven me nuts for years. Also Buffy’s pants are a disturbing shade of green again. Joelle basically said all the important and emotional things about this part so I’m sticking with editing and pants.

Over the shoulder in one frame...

Over the shoulder in one frame…

Behind her back in the next.

Behind her back in the next.

Next I get to do Ted AND I AM SO EXCITED.

What’s My Line?: Part 2

So here we go! Part 2 of the two-parter you may or may not want two parts of. What I mostly have to say is: holy inconsistencies. I will admit, however, that these two episodes are important for the plot of the show. I mean, Kendra’s appearance adds SO MUCH to Slayer lore / is the first time Buffy feels less alone as the Slayer / will eventually lead to Faith, etc etc. So yeah. Important episode, even if parts of it annoy me. Let’s get into it.

The episode opens where the last one ended with Buffy and Kendra facing off. I don’t remember what we’re supposed to think during this cliffhanger. It was a really long time ago that I first saw this episode and I was a tiny child at the time. So needless to say, I don’t know what reaction we’re *supposed* to have. Buffy is suspicious of Kendra, obviously, but considering this girl viciously attacked her out of nowhere, lowers her guard REALLY QUICKLY and suggests they go talk to Giles.

It was hard to find a screenshot of Kendra where she didn’t look like a dead fish, but I promise she looks lovely in the episode.

We find out that Kendra was sent by her Watcher to Sunnydale to “do her duty” and “kill vampires” which is utterly vague and unhelpful. Bianca Lawson looks beautiful, though, even in her silk pants.

Can I have a time-out here for a second? Because the accent. We need to address the accent. I don’t blame Bianca Lawson for this at ALL. In fact, when she auditioned for the part, Kendra had no accent. The day before they shot, the people in charge said, “What about a Jamaican accent?” So Bianca had one day to prepare. Bianca pointed out that Kendra doesn’t actually talk like a Jamaican person with Jamaican patois, and they ignored her and told her to keep the lines as they were, otherwise the average viewer wouldn’t understand her. So that’s really gross and unfortunate and honestly, makes Bianca herself look bad when it was a completely avoidable situation by the writers (or whoever’s in charge of such decisions). Sigh.

Anyway. Buffy and Kendra go to see Giles, who is incredibly perplexed by the situation. And Buffy is being aggressively

Chill, Buffy. Also, what is with her outfit in this scene?

dismissive and cold toward Kendra for…no real reason? I mean, I’m trying to find a reason and can’t. We know (and will continue to learn) that Buffy has her own Slayer style and really doesn’t like people messing with her groove. But still. She’s so mean! Even before Kendra tries to mess with her groove.

Giles figures out that Buffy dying at the end of S1 must have triggered Kendra’s activation. (And I love Buffy’s “Just a little!” line.) It wasn’t until this particular viewing that I figured something out myself: I’d always been sort of puzzled as to how one Slayer dying, being revived, and two Slayers existing could possibly be unprecedented, as Giles claims. I mean, in the history of the world, that never happened? Seems unlikely. But now I think that even if it had happened, the Council would have probably covered it up, expunge those records, whatever. They wouldn’t necessarily want Slayers to know that they could share their duties. That would make controlling them harder. Just a thought.

Kendra reveals that she trapped Angel and left him for dead. Before Buffy can rescue him, Willy snatches him up and dumps him in the sewer for Spike. Oh, Willy. It’s probably better for you (and your clientele) if you stay on the Slayer’s good side.

What’s a season of Buffy without terrible bug CGI?

Back at Buffy’s house, Cordy is talking to fake-makeup-salesman, who turns into a bunch of maggots, all maggoty like. Xander and Cordy hide in the basement and block off the crack under the door and…I don’t know, guys, this guy (demon? Bug? What is he?) just seems really easy to kill. A couple matches, some heavy boots, squishing the bugs as they come under the door…that’d do the trick, wouldn’t it? Do you really need to research that? This is one Buffy villain even I think I could handle, and I am an absurdly out of shape, weak person.

At Willy’s place, Kendra and Buffy see that Angel’s missing but not dead, based on the absence of ashes. Kendra then attacks Willy on-sight, which is entertaining. He lies and they believe him (??) and they leave. Meanwhile, Spike presents Angel to Dru, as an ingredient in the recipe to restore her back to health. I agree with B’s observation last time: this whole ritual is very vague. Gilded cross + ancient text + sire + full moon = restore a sick vampire from mysterious ailment? Okay then.

I like this shot. Just get along, guys! You could be friends! Look at your mutual stank eyes!

At Buffy’s school, Kendra goes completely unnoticed by faculty and the other students despite her loud accent and strange clothing. I feel strongly that IRL, Giles would be questioned/reprimanded by the administration more than he is. Anyway, Kendra and Giles geek out over books together and we learn more and more about Kendra. She’s a stickler for the rules, she’s been training to be a Slayer her whole life, she’s book smart, she goes about her Slayer duties in a way that’s 100% different from Buffy’s. (But can I say, I find it highly unlikely that Giles would not have at least mentioned the Slayer handbook to Buffy by now? ‘Cause yeah, that’s unlikely.)

Anyway, Giles and Kendra go off and Buffy wonders if it would be so bad being replaced by Slayer #2 so that she could have a normal life. Oh, Buffy. This is something she’ll think about from now until, well, the very last episode of the show.

Xordelia, the beginning.

Given that Giles knows about Spike’s ritual, and given that just a few hours ago they were all freaked out about never-ending assassins, NOBODY seems concerned that Angel, Cordelia and Xander are missing. Cordy and Xander in particular. Giles sent them off to check on Buffy and they weren’t heard from again and didn’t show up to school. Surely that warrants some concern? Regardless, they’re still trapped in Buffy’s basement, bickering as they always do. And then they kiss right in the middle. I love Xordelia. After the kiss, they make a mad dash to escape and the maggots move really fast and get on Cordy and Xander hoses her down. Yawn.

Willow and Oz talk more, which yay! Love it. No complaints there.

Buffy (again, seeming to have forgotten completely about any and all assassins, when just yesterday she was grabbing innocent students by their throats) is attacked by one pretending to be a cop. Honestly, she acts exactly like every other Sunnydale cop by shooting for no reason, so if I were Buffy I wouldn’t automatically think “assassin.” I kid. Oz gets shot in the shoulder which seems like it should be a huge deal, but isn’t for some reason. Assassin escapes.

Giles, you’re really dropping the ball this episode, dude.

In the library, Willow bandages Buffy’s knee (what? must have missed that injury) and Xander and Cordy arrive. Suddenly, everyone’s all panicked about the Order of Taraka again. Kendra gets impossibly awkward around Xander. Et cetera. The gang finally figures out that Spike might have Angel. How Giles didn’t know that Angel sired Drusilla, based on all that he does seem to know about Dru’s past, is bizarre. Also, suddenly the ritual has to happen on the new moon, not the full moon as Spike said earlier, but conveniently both are happening tonight anyway. Have I mentioned that I am annoyed by this ritual a lot? Even the writers don’t seem to care about it.

Buffy’s all ragey and ready for action, which will come in handy because at that very moment, Dru is torturing Angel for funsies. I like Dru’s craziness, as usual.

Scoobies are in full research mode in the library. Cordy and Xander are inexplicably trying to find Bug Man and Cop Lady in the Order of Taraka handbook or whatever. But why? The Order will never stop coming, right, unless called back? Is there really a master list of infinity assassins somewhere? I don’t need to repeat that I dislike this whole Order thing, but I will.

Again, dead fish. I promise it’s not all the time.

What I like about Kendra (because there’s at least one thing) is that her situation isn’t played up for pity. Through her, we get to see someone who thoroughly enjoys being a Slayer, who thrives on it, who has gladly dedicated her life to it. She also keeps her secret identity very secret and shuts herself off from civilians. This could have been bad chracterization, leading to a whole “poor foreign girl’s life is so markedly different and sad” but it’s not. In the library scene, she remarks that Buffy’s life is very different from hers, that she was taught not to make room for distractions from her calling (even family). Being a Slayer is the most important thing to her people (which people?? ughhh I still wish she had more of a cohesive back story). But she tells Buffy point-black not to pity her, that they are different people with different opinions and that’s okay. I really like that.

It irritates me a little bit that even after that discussion, Buffy still feels the need to coach her. Maybe she’s right in that a Slayer needs to harness her emotions and use them to her advantage, but honestly? Kendra hasn’t stumbled or messed up yet, not once. So maybe it’s okay that they have different fighting styles and Buffy should just accept that?

Here’s a tip: don’t trust someone named Snitch.

Buffy figures out that Willy the Snitch probably knows which church Spike is going to use for the ritual (but why? Why would Spike tell Willy that?) and Angel tries to get Spike to dust him before the ritual can start. The only thing I like about whimpering Angel in this scene is that he’s acting a lot like Angelus when he’s taunting Spike about Dru, and that’s interesting to me. Anyway, Dru stops Spike from killing Angel, and Spike remarks that if he kills him now, “Dru doesn’t have a chance.” And if Dru dies, Sunnydale would be spared her true strength. This is even more confusing. So whatever’s wrong with Dru, done to her by a mob in Prague, is eventually going to kill her? WHAT is it? Also, the only noticeable change in Dru after the ritual is that she is a bit stronger and can do her mind-trick power thing again, right? This is all so vague.

Buffy and Kendra argue about the merit of saving a vampire’s life, blah blah, Buffy goes off with Willy who promptly leads her into a vamp trap. Seriously, why is she getting fooled more than once in this episode by someone whose moniker is SNITCH?

She digs it.

Spike starts the ritual. Turns out the golden cross is actually a knife (is that its whole purpose, then?) which he stabs through Angel and Dru’s tied-together hands. Dru seems to like it. Willy and the vamps bring Buffy right to Spike which, as Spike points out, is arguably the dumbest thing they could do. Buffy flips out at the sight of Angel all limp and hand-bleedy. Kendra backflips through a wall to help save Buffy and they tag team Spike, which I’ve always enjoyed. (I just want everyone to get along, okay.)

Big fight ensues, which the Scoobies join in on. (Wait, how did they know which church it was?) Giles and Willow dust a vampire, which is nice. Cordy and Xander kill Bug Man, BORING. Cop Lady is part of the fight, this time with knives, BORING. I am so sick of the Order. Also, Kendra hits and presumably kills Cop Lady, which calls into question: Cop Lady was human, right? We find out moments before she’s knocked out that her name is Patrice, which certainly sounds human. Does Kendra not get as hung up on that fact as Buffy does?

Angel’s hand, miraculously healed!

Buffy frees Angel from his bondage. Spike sets fire to the church and grabs Dru to leave. Buffy hits him with a lantern, he falls and gets crushed by the pipe organ. Angel’s hand is IMMEDIATELY fine and injury-free, which may be due to the knife being mystical…who even knows with this ritual anymore.

And then we’re at the end. Willow and Oz have their animal cracker conversation, and Oz tells her she has the sweetest smile he’s ever seen, and this is one of my favorite Ozlow moments (of which there are thousands).

Okay but seriously, Alyson Hannigan has the sweetest smile any of us have ever seen.

Xander and Cordelia also kiss again in a classroom, suggesting it won’t be just a one-time fluke. And Kendra goes back home (to Jamaica? Will we ever know? No). Anyway, the Slayers have a sweet moment where Buffy thanks her for helping Angel. And then Kendra says my favorite line of the episode: “You always do that, talk about slaying like it’s a job. It’s not. It’s who you are.” This is a lesson Buffy will literally be learning for the whole show, so it’s a nice moment here. Also, their little glimmer of camaraderie in this scene is good. All in all, an okay ending.

Oh, and then Dru pulls Spike out of the burned-out wreckage of the church because apparently Angel DIDN’T have to die for the ritual to work and you’d think Giles’ books might have mentioned that. Also, I get how they survived the pipe organ falling on them, but the fire? Spike is underneath charred wood pieces and he’s a vampire. I think we’ve scene vamps burst into flame for way less than that. Oh well. What’s one more inconsistency at this point?

Spike’s hand, not on fire.

Re: What’s My Line: Pt 1

I’ll start this off by saying that I’m completely unable to answer B’s burning questions about the typical high school experience because, well, I was totally detached for my duration of high school. To the point where I was just flipping through my yearbook the other day and had NO familiarity with about 80-90% of its content. Who are all those people? What the hell is Winter Festival? Etc. I didn’t spend my high school years trying to engage myself at all. In fact, I spent them mostly staying in and watching Buffy reruns so…here we are.

Did this happen at my high school? It’s entirely possible. It’s also entirely possible I never went to high school with how much I actually remember.

So yeah, I haven’t the slightest clue whether or not my school had a career fair like this or if students filled out surveys. I know that I explicitly did not do this thing, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Anyway.

I do generally like this episode, a far bit more than B does, I think. I don’t know. I’m always happy to get to it when I get to it, though I suppose I’ve never singled it out as one I want to watch on its lonesome.

In this post, I’m going to touch on what I think this episode does well, what it sets up for the future, and where it definitely lacks.

First things first: Buffy’s gloom and doom. I feel like this is one of the mopey Buffy instances that people who hate mopey Buffy really hate, but I don’t know. I get it. As a somewhat listless post-college slightly unemployed person myself, Buffy’s concerns about growing up and doing something with

She’s not happy.

her life are all of our concerns, except, you know. She can’t do anything in her life. Not anything that requires excessive amounts of training and man hours, at least. At any moment, she could be required to kill demons or stop an apocalypse and that’s just not conducive to studying or interning or working long hours somewhere. That’s not to say she won’t have jobs, but a career? Nah.

Oz and Willow. Oh my god yessss, this is the first time they actually meet, isn’t it? GO OZLOW I LOVE YOU. Oz being a genius was always funny to be because he’s such a sarcastic, humorously self-deprecating slacker and I think it’s funny. I do think this story line ultimately lacks because, well, we just don’t get enough Oz on screen to explore it. I want more! I want to know what he’ll major in! What career path he’ll go down! His upcoming wolfiness gets in the way of developing his academic and professional pursuits but still, I’m curious.  The problem here is that we need more Oz. More Oz is always the solution.

Team Oslow 5ever

The Order of Taraka. I don’t disagree that they’re lame. However, I think they’re only lame because they give up really fast. I could see how an unrelenting troop of baddies coming at you from all directions and not slowing down or stopping would be troublesome (for one thing, when/where would you sleep?), even if individually they might be easy to kill. (And who says they all are easy to kill, anyway? What if Buffy just lucked out with some duds?) But yeah, the Order of Taraka always reminds me of The Three from S1. Oh, you don’t remember the Three? Neither do I, until at one point Buffy is telling Faith they were one of her toughest kills. What? I guess maybe, in theory…

So presh.

Buffy and Angel. I agree that Buffy’s bedroom scene is not Angel’s best moment, aside from him clutching Mr. Gordo to his chest while he waits for her. They’re both acting like 16-year-olds here when really only the 16-year-old can get away with doing that. His behavior comes down to his petulant insecurity about having relationships with people and, well, his deep-seated belief that he’s no good for Buffy.

I don’t think he’s TOTALLY off base with assuming Buffy’s wish to “have a normal life, like she did before” refers to him, though. Hear me out. Right before Buffy turns to him to say that, she looks in the mirror where only her reflection shines back. I think she means it when she tells him, “You’re the one freaky thing in my freaky world that still makes sense to me.” But I also think she’s being incredibly naive. I mean, of course she is. She’s 16 and in love for the first time. The fact that she tells him she wishes they could be normal kids is a red flag, honestly. She’s able to forget that he’s actually a 200-year-old tormented demon with a soul, and he’s never able to do that.

I love Bangel but he should probably just end things after this scene. Buffy’s in a weird, potentially dangerous place of romanticizing the “weirdness” of their relationship without taking into account that, yes, dating Angel will hold her back in a thousand different ways. They’re not on the same point in their lives, and she tends to forget that – either willfully or by accident. Angel handles it TERRIBLY but again, it’s quite possible he spent 150 years eating rats and not talking to humans ever, so I mean…he needs practice? I don’t know. There should be studies about the kinds of personality disorders that 200-year-old vampires with souls develop but until then, we can only speculate.


I do LOVE the ice skating scene, though. One of my favorite Buffy/Angel moments, corniness be damned. And I, too, have always felt a twinge of nervousness when anyone makes out with a vamp face. Be careful!

I think the ice-skating scene (“you shouldn’t have to touch me when I’m like this”) goes back to Angel’s insecurity and sheds more light on it. He’s aware of his demon side and aware that Buffy is the opposite of it. It’s ironic, how aware of it he is, based on what’s to come. There are so many hints to the fact that Angel is going to lose his soul that I didn’t notice before. Buffy’s line, then, “I didn’t even notice,” is indicative of her naivety again. She implicitly trusts Angel, even when she probably shouldn’t. He knows that she shouldn’t (maybe just because he’s aware of how EVIL his evil side is) and seems to struggle with whether or not to spare her from it. I don’t know. It’s not a situation I’d want to be in, even though as an adult I can totally see why he should probably end things.

Also, as badly as Angel behaves in the bedroom scene, this episode does highlight one of my favorite aspects of their relationship: he listens to her. He doesn’t belittle her feelings. Yeah, he misinterprets them, he gets emotional and takes them out of context sometimes, but he doesn’t make her feel silly for talking about school stuff, her parents, or her Dorothy Hamill phase. He pays close attention to what she says and I don’t know. That’s sweet. And particularly important in episodes like this one where, yes, her parental figure (Giles) is totally clueless about how she feels.

Okay, now onto the not-so-great stuff. Which I mean…other than the plot problems B already pointed out, pretty much begins and ends for me with Kendra. Oh, Kendra. I want to love you. You’re the first PoC of significance on the show (which is a huge problem in and of itself, obviously) and your character is just so….yeah. The put-on, terrible accent. The vague references to cultural norms that may or may not exist in Kendra’s “actual” culture. You know what? I guess most of this comes in the next episode, so maybe I should press pause and cover this stuff later. But yeah. We meet Kendra, THE VOMPEYRRR SLEYYYERR, and it ends on a cliffhanger. Oh boy.

Right there with you, Buff.

What’s My Line: Part 1

For the record, it is ENTIRELY MY FAULT this time that we have been offline for a couple of weeks. Finals buried me and I just completely failed all my external projects. But now we are back and I have a whole glorious summer with nothing but projects, hooray!

So I always feel like this is one of those episodes that has a lot of great ideas and things that I really want to get behind but never quite becomes an episode I love? Like there are things in it I am amused by and yet… well, we’ll get there.

Willow loves a test.

Willow loves a test.

Okay, so we open on career day at Sunnydale High School. I have always been SO CURIOUS about this, so help me out folks! Is this a thing? Or at least in this way? Do you fill out aptitude tests and get a box you’re supposed to fit in and booths to go to? I mean, it seems super ridiculous but also not so much that I wouldn’t believe it was possible? So fill me in all you school attending children!

Anyway. My personal curiosity aside, Buffy is super bummed out. This is more or

Buffy's woe face. There will be a lot of that this episode.

Buffy’s woe face. There will be a lot of that this episode.

less the perfect thing to remind her of everything that most upsets her these days (and really for the foreseeable future) — that she will never be able to have a normal life, never be able to be excited about the things that everyone else gets to be excited about. It highlights everything about her life that she most hates and makes her feel extremely isolated.

It’s important to note though, that the rest of the Scooby gang will ALSO feel pretty isolated by this. Everyone is terrified about their future (except Cordelia, and her time is coming). Xander is afraid that his life is not going to go anywhere, that he’ll be a loser, end up in a job he hates. Even Willow will be split off from her friends and classmates, not getting a box at all. No one knows where they fit. Everyone is afraid that growing up is coming a little too fast and maybe it won’t be everything they hoped. This is certainly one of the excellent ideas that the story has that rings true…. although I never feel like it is played out as well as I’d like.

Cordelia likes tests that will tell her happy things about herself.

Cordelia likes tests that will tell her happy things about herself.

Buffy and Willow wonder if they are on the side of shrubs (I say no to shrubs personally as I feel that they are small and boring and also what would a question like that tell you about a person?) while Xander ponders his lack of future. Cordelia thinks about how much she likes to help people as long as they are not smelly and gross and I am amused thinking about her future.

What is interesting to me is that Buffy just immediately gives up on the possibility of her having another job in the future. Willow was the one who suggested looking in the Watcher diaries for previous vampire stuff when they were wondering about Angel. For this she could probably actually just ask Giles. Like I can’t imagine he wouldn’t look. What DID the last few Slayers do? Have some of them had jobs? Maybe she could find something that would allow her to work from home. Transcription or something. Or a Private Investigator like Angel becomes? Although I guess Buffy isn’t very good at monetizing her skills. But I think there really are options. That said, I can also understand how it might seem pretty bleak right now. It’s the weight of destiny and the lack of choices already that seems so crushing.

How do you get these oober smart vampires anyway? Did Spike vamp him just for this?

How do you get these oober smart vampires anyway? Did Spike vamp him just for this?

As Buffy mopes about her future, we come to Spike beating an underling vampire (we know he’s an underling who doesn’t matter because of how he’s in full vamp face the entire time) because he cannot decipher the book that they stole from Giles’ library last time. We find out that there is something in this book that contains Druscilla’s cure. I would like to note that I have always been very unclear on what is actually wrong with Dru? Like she was attacked by an angry mob and was then struck by some kind of waning disease or consumption? We never really see that anywhere else in the mythology and I really don’t understand how it fits with the vampire thing. Like how could a vampire be permanently made weak? I HAVE QUESTIONS, OKAY? Prepare for more of those.

Spike snaps at Dru when she asks him to dance and she pretty much falls into

Look! A totally generic crypt!

Look! A totally generic crypt!

pieces and he immediately disintegrates in the way that he does. But it’s all fine because as he is desperate about the transcriber figuring out the the strange language, Dru’s magic Tarot deck tells her that he can’t help them without the key. Not only that but apparently the deck has a picture of the exact mausoleum that it’s hidden in. Which I would say is implausible except that this picture is an incredibly generic mausoleum. So maybe he just realized it would be in Du Lac’s tomb? I don’t know. The point is he is very happy and picks Dru up and says he will dance with her all OVER the Slayer’s grave and they prance about and it’s cute in the way that they are.

Aww. Mr. Gordo!

Aww. Mr. Gordo!

Buffy sneaks in her window and sees Angel looking at her things. She frightens him and he clutches a stuffed pig. I enjoy both that that happens and also that she mocks him for doing it. Although his complete lack of humor in response to that is one of the reasons that I really just hate him. But don’t worry! More are coming!

She eventually has to explain to him that she’s sad because of what’s going on at school after she is mean to him and hurts his sad demon feelers. He knows that it is Career week because “he lurks.” She

My poor feelings have been hurt. Were you talking about yourself? I forgot.

My poor feelings have been hurt. Were you talking about yourself? I forgot.

does not think this is creepy but I think that Angel lurking around a high school actually is creepy and I wish he’d stop. So she tries to explain her feelings in what is a perfectly rational way. That this whole thing makes her remember that she has no place in this world like other people, that she’s feeling shitty about that, that she just wishes she could have a normal life and Angel…. makes it all about himself because he is the fucking worst. “You mean your life would be better without me.” NO ANGEL. NO THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEAN OR WHAT I SAID. Maybe perhaps even if you weren’t in my life I would still be bound by destiny and totally fucked and maybe I was trying to explain something to you and I shouldn’t now be comforting you but I am BECAUSE YOU ARE A CHILD.

Okay. Deep breaths. I just have moments where I cannot stand him. That said, in this scene, I do think him wanting to take her ice skating to help her relax and escape is a nice touch and shows him listening in a way he was not even remotely only a minute before. So it’s always kind-of hit and miss. Also I love the idea that Buffy was obsessed with Dorothy Hamill enough to get a Dorothy Hamill haircut. How adorable. I mean… I have no idea what that haircut looks like but I’m sure it was adorable.

I googled it. I think maybe the haircut looked like this?

I googled it. I think maybe the haircut looked like this?

The next day we arrive back at school and Buffy is wearing an outfit that I

What is on your SHOULDER?

What is on your SHOULDER?

unexpectedly kind-of like but she is inexplicably carrying a giant fuzzy leopard print bag with it that is… I just can’t even. Baffling. Cordelia finds out that she is set to be a motivational speaker or personal shopper and I again am amused by her future. And Xander finds out that he is apparently perfectly suited for being a prison guard. Which I think would in fact be super depressing and his friends are not very supportive. Willow finds out that she’s not on the list and is distressed by this news. And Buffy finds out that she is apparently perfectly set to be a law enforcement officer, which upsets her. I don’t really see Buffy as a great police officer, honestly. And probably part of why she gets so upset about it is because she realizes it is a possibility with her destiny and stuff.

I will say that Grimm is sort of like what if Buffy were a police officer and male? And also hated females. Every female. And basically became terrible in every possible way and made you want to gouge out your eyes and… I think I’ve gotten off track.

She goes to the library and isn’t super happy. She wonders what the “whole nine yards” means as she tells Giles that the vampires she went after last night were robbing things. I fondly smile at her and tell her that someday she’ll have a smart phone and when she has a question like that she can find out the answer immediately and what a good day that will be.

Giles, she's discussing how her life is no better than being dead. Stop WAFFLING, MAN.

Giles, she’s discussing how her life is no better than being dead. Stop WAFFLING, MAN.

Anyway. This first half of the episode is another time where Giles is really struggling to connect with Buffy and really doesn’t understand why she’s so upset. He’s also not giving her a lot of leeway, even though I think she has a good reason to be upset. Also, when your student starts talking about how it wouldn’t make any difference if she were dead or alive? That’s a suicidal warning sign, GILES. Don’t just ignore this crap. I mean, I know Buffy isn’t suicidal but in general that’s an important thing.

Spike and Dru stare lovingly at the “key” which is actually a large and ornate gilded cross thing. I have no idea how it is a key. Nor will we ever find out. We’re just taking their word for it, I guess. But they’re very happy because success.

A key! That will help us decode words... somehow.

A key! That will help us decode words… somehow.

In the meantime Spike has decided that the Slayer has just gotten too much in the way and he’s going to put a stop to it. He is going to call… THE ORDER OF TAKARA. These have to be the villains with the absolute most build-up and least pay off in all of this show. Like they spend so much time trying to make them scary and yet there is never a moment when I actually feel that. Mostly they just feel like silly, second tier bad guys. Even though everyone goes nuts freaking out about them constantly. But Dru assures us there will be three of them and for the whole first episode here, we pretend Kendra might be one of them instead of just a Slayer in pajama pants bringing an offensive and horrendous accent.

I am the worst principal imaginable. I hate children and the world. I will end you.

I am the worst principal imaginable. I hate children and the world. I will end you.

At Career Week Willow and Xander encounter Snider and Xander babbles away about how he hopes to someday fill his shoes but “not your actual shoes of course, because you’re a tiny person!” which is one of my favorite lines in this episode. Snider is obviously looking for Buffy because he basically doesn’t care about anything else. Buffy is on a field trip with Giles to a crypt because neither of them have any sense of logic.

Willow gets pulled into a back room and offered canape by men in suits. She’s told that she’s been targeted by an anonymous

Oz offers canape while Willow looks bemused.

Oz offers canape while Willow looks bemused.

major software company and her test didn’t matter. Basically this whole scene is pointless except to sit her down next to Oz. I always forget that Oz is also supposed to be a super genius? Like does that ever come up again after this? It all seems silly and forced to me but whatever.

Buffy and Giles argue through the cemetery about her possible futures and I really do not feel like he is being very empathetic. They make it to the Du Lac crypt and Giles explains how usually these crypts contain a religious relic like a finger or something exciting like that. Giles is certain somehow all these things add up. The book that was stolen was also by De Lac, he’s sure there’s a reason. He’s sure something is coming. I mean, I think all that is coming is Kendra’s accent (not insignificant) but you know.

Why does she look like a crazy person from the 50's?

Why does she look like a crazy person from the 50’s?

A creepy man goes up the Summer’s street, goes to the house across the street and knocks on the door. He makes his way into the house by promising free beauty supplies. I was a little baffled by the idea that you would just accept that someone was walking door to door with beauty products. Is that a thing that still happens, even like 15 years ago? Also when he comes in, she screams at the top of her lungs and I was also confused why no one anywhere in the neighborhood heard this and called someone but maybe in Sunnydale no one listens to screams anymore.

SMG skates around the rink and looks like she’s having a pretty good time. It’s

I think I read that SMG actually did enjoy ice skating as a kid? I can't remember for sure anymore.

I think I read that SMG actually did enjoy ice skating as a kid? I can’t remember for sure anymore.

nice. I wish she had gotten to have her date but of course she does not get nice things. Since as she is sitting on the ice (apparently she forgot that whole stopping thing since she was a child) she is attacked by an assassin. Angel rushes in and the two of them fight him off. I am sort-of touched by the whole thing where she doesn’t even notice that he’s in vamp face. I mean, it’s dorky but I like it. Although I also always think when she’s making out with him that his vampire teeth are very sharp and what if he like nicked her tongue or lips?

Anyway. Angel is insanely freaked out about the ring showing that they are from the Takara people, just like everyone else will be and also for no reason. Also, while they’re making out Kendra is watching them.

This is Giles serious fear face.

This is Giles serious fear face.

Giles lies glibly to everyone in the library that Angel had every reason to be terrified and he proceeds to make them all terrified as well. He explains that the order is “A society of powerful assassins, dating back to King Solomon” which makes me crack up every time. I mean, the idea seems to be that there are just too many of them and they’ll just keep coming and she’ll never be able to kill enough of them but they do not seem that hard to kill REALLY. I guess it’s like being attacked by lots of ants.

Although he may not have terrified me, he certainly succeeded at terrifying Buffy

This is what you do not want your Slayer doing.

This is what you do not want your Slayer doing.

who walks down the hallway feeling terrified and paranoid of everyone. I would like to suggest that this is not actually a great way to make sure your Slayer is prepared for things. Especially since she attacks Oz in the hallway. Fortunately Oz just shakes it off after and endearingly says “That’s a tense person.” Because he’s adorable. Still. The point is that your Slayer is going to go nuts and just start killing people in that state. It’s not a solid plan.

This is Angel's house. It is lit by some untraceable source that also sucks.

This is Angel’s house. It is lit by some untraceable source that also sucks.

She doesn’t want to go home (which was probably pretty smart and I can’t believe they were going to let her) so instead she ends up going to Angel’s place. I would like to note that it is especially in this episode that I have noticed that the bedroom sets are SUPER poorly lit? Both Buffy’s and Angel’s. Anyway. She curls up in his bed, which here has a red blanket but white sheets, but will later (like all men Buffy first has sex with) most definitely have red sheets.

Angel is not there because he is at Willy’s place. I would like to note that I forgot about Willy existing. And if you had pressed me I could probably have

Look, it's Willy. Looking like a snitch type person. Like he does.

Look, it’s Willy. Looking like a snitch type person. Like he does.

remembered that he existed, but not necessarily if he was in Buffy or Angel. Anyway, Angel claims to be trying to find out who sicced Taraka on Buffy. But that seems a little pointless because he obviously know it’s Spike. So mostly I guess he wants to know where to find Spike? But he doesn’t start with that and by the time he gets around to demanding that information Kendra has appeared and has an exciting fight where she knocks him into a cage before we finally have to hear her speak. I am saddened that the subtitles give no clue of her accent because that’s ridiculous. Anyway. Kendra leaves Angel in a cage with east-facing exposure and heads off to find Buffy.

In the meantime Giles is super worried about how no one has heard from Buffy so he calls Xander and tells him he should go over to her house and probably call Cordelia for a ride. I feel that perhaps this is a wildly stupid. Like Giles knows that a deadly group of assassins who are looking for Buffy and presumably her house would be one of the first places that they’d look? And in fact a man made of bugs is right across the street. So possibly sending Xander and Cordelia is not the best possible plan. In fact, it will not be! Way to go Daddy Giles.

I have just discovered that these old men whose books I own were complete idiots, Willow.

I have just discovered that these old men whose books I own were complete idiots, Willow.

He then goes to tell Willow that he has figured out what the vampires were after. That what Du Lac had in that book was a magic spell to restore a weakened vampire back to health. Which… why would he have that? What possible good purpose could that serve? Why wouldn’t he have destroyed that shit? But apparently he was an idiot and did not.

So Xander and Cordelia snipe at each other and say amusing things and Cordy looks incredibly sporty in her outfit and then she is… bizarrely stupid and not only opens Buffy’s door (which why?) but also for some reason

Being sporty in the morning. High ponytail and all.

Being sporty in the morning. High ponytail and all.

believes that a salesman is wandering around handing out free beauty samples at what cannot be later than like 7am. And lets him into Buffy’s house, which is like an impossibly stupid thing for her to do, which I dislike because Cordelia is not stupid. Grumble.

Angel struggles to get out of the cage as the sun rises. Buffy is attacked by Kendra. They fight and finally, in the final line, the big reveal that Kendra is the Slayer. DUN DUN DUN.

I am basically the first significant PoC in this show. That is just as bad and actually worse than you think.

I am basically the first significant PoC in this show. That is just as bad and actually worse than you think.